


78 days: of heartbreak

by cherryontop (doublecherry)



Series: 78 days [2]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017), Riverdale (TV 2017) RPF
Genre: ArchieRonnie, Cute, F/M, Heartbreak, soft, varchie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-07-01 13:44:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15775290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doublecherry/pseuds/cherryontop
Summary: ”Why can’t you just say that you love me?” Archies voice was shaking, he felt his eyes burning but he tried fighting back the tears.”Tell me that you love me, and we can move on. But if you’re doubting me, us, this. Then tell me that, too.” He said, he could feel a lump growing in his throat, his lips felt dry.Veronica stood in silence, the three little words she had been so scared to use. She knew that she loved him, but tossing the three little words was harder than she expected. She felt her mouth opening, but nothing came out.”Tell me, that what we have isn’t a waste of time. Tell me you love me.” Archie pleaded.”I can’t.”He felt like Veronica had just tossed his heart on the ground, causing it to shatter into tiny small pieces, and he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to put it back together.”Then we’re over.” His voice sounded harsh, the words left his mouth without him thinking about the consequences. It was his time to walk out on her.





	1. Chapter 1

_Do I have to start this by saying ’Dear diary’ everytime? I think it’s kind of cheesy. I’ve never owned a diary before, I’m familiar with the concept, but I’ve never thought about owning one._

 

_That was until a few months ago. I was laying on Veronicas bed when I noticed a small book with a little heart shaped lock. I took it in my hand, not to read it. I would never invade her privacy like that. I just wanted to see it. She panicked when she saw the book in my hand, her eyes did that thing they do whenever she’s annoyed._

 

_I asked her why she kept a diary, well, what I really said was,_

 

_’Aren’t you a little bit too old for a diary, Ronnie?’_

 

_She rolled her eyes at me, I could tell she was trying to act mad at me, but the smile on her lips was saying something else._

 

_She told me the diary helps her with her emotions, it helps her understands certain situations and it gives her a lot of self-reflection._

 

_She’s so intelligent, I love that about her._

 

_She told me I should start writing a diary too, I thought about it, I didn’t give it a try._

 

_Until now._

 

_My emotions are everywhere, I can’t tell what I’m feeling. I feel so empty and lost, and it’s a weird feeling given the fact that I’m back home in Riverdale. I grew up here, I know everyone here, and yet, I feel like I’m in the middle of the dark trying to find the light._

 

_Only my light isn’t here. It’s in NYC, partying, hanging out with friends, meeting new boys and having the time of her life._

 

_I broke up with Veronica._

 

_I think this is a decision I will spend my life regretting._

 

 

_Archie_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hello little journal,_

 

_I'm going to call you little journal, or journal. I don't know, I'll work on that. I'm only writing this journal because I'm drowning in all these thoughts and emotions. I feel like I have no one to talk with, Betty has tried to talk with me about it. She says that talking about it will help me heal faster._

 

_I don't want to talk about it. Talking about it means that I'm accepting that her and I are broken up, it means that I'm ready to move on, and I'm not. I think about her all the time, I see her everywhere. I thought the worst part of a break up was the first days. When the wounds are so fresh, but it isn't._

 

_Each day that goes by, feels worse than the one before. The five first days went okay, I thought that I was okay and that I would be over her in any moment. I know I was fooling myself, but if I said it enough then maybe there was a possibility that it would become reality._

 

_She started to haunt my thoughts on day six, I would think about her randomly. I went on a walk with Vegas and I thought about how happy she would've been playing with her, how she would've teased me and said Vegas liked her more._

 

_The same day Betty and I went to Pop's, she was wearing a red top, and I thought about how good that top would've looked on ~~Ronnie~~ , no. Veronica. I thought about how good that top would've looked on Veronicas body, I love the way red compliments her, no one can pull off red like her, and she refuses to wear it. I wish she could see herself from my eyes. Maybe then she would've realized how gorgeous she looks._

 

_Betty snapped me out of my thoughts by asking me what I was ordering._

 

_I had a hard time focusing on what Betty was saying, my mind kept wandering to what Veronica was doing and if she was okay._

 

_Does she miss me?_

 

_Do I run around in her head like she does in mine?_

 

_I'm sure she doesn't think about me at all._

 

_The worst part about day six was going to bed. My bed felt bigger than usual, I thought about how perfectly her little body would've fit in this bed, next to me. I couldn't sleep and I wished she could be here with me, whenever I had trouble sleeping she would always run her tiny small fingers through my hair and I would fall asleep._

 

_I miss feeling her touch._

 

_Day seven felt worse. I didn't even get out of my room during day seven. I spent the entire day in my bed, watching bad movies, and in each character I found something that reminded me about Veronica. There was a character with a smart mouth, she was always in the right and charming as hell. I thought, that's exactly my Veronica. I felt a lump in my stomach when I realized she wasn't mine anymore._

 

_But maybe she never was?_

 

_I couldn't finish the movie. My dad asked me to come down for dinner, and I realized I hadn't eaten anything the whole day, I should've been starving but I didn't have any apetite. I played with my food with my fork, the worst part was when my dad asked me if Veronica was coming over this summer._

 

_I know he didn't mean any harm by his question, he doesn't even know we're broken up. Something weird took over my body, I asked him if mom was coming over this summer._

 

_The smile on his face faded._

 

_I apologized and said I didn't know why I said that. He said it was okay. I know it wasn't. I know how hurt he is that she left us. I am too._

 

_The rest of the dinner was silent. I think he lost his apetite too. I didn't mean to hurt him._

 

_I went back to my room, I pulled up Veronicas number and I stared at it for a few minutes. Thinking if I should call her, tell her that we can fix this._

 

_I was so close to calling her, until I realized how pathetic it would've been._

 

_I thought about how Veronica once joked that I should try for the acting industry instead of the music industry. Reality is that she would've been the real star. Veronica Lodge is a great actress. I think she should get an award for the amazing performance she pulled. She really had me and everyone around us thinking that she was 'madly' in love with me._

 

_That night I wished that I had never met her._

 

 

_Archie_

 


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear journal,_

 

_I want to say that I've never been the jealous type, but that's a lie. Growing up I was always jealous of all my friends who got picked up by their mothers, or how happy their mothers looked when they handed over the little card they had crafted in school for mothers day. I crafted them too, only difference was that I gave them to my dad. I think his heart broke everytime._

 

_Day eight, was the day I felt like throwing my phone into the wall and drive to NYC._

 

_Day eight was mostly spent in darkness in my room. I had forced myself not to look at Veronicas social media, just as much as I was dying to see if she was miserable like me, I also knew how much it would hurt if I saw her carrying on with her life like nothing._

 

_I was scrolling on my phone when I saw that Toni had just posted a picture, a part of me was dying to see if it was something of Veronica, the damn picture was loading for a good time until it showed. Thinking back to it, it probably didn't load for long, but it felt like forever._

 

_It was a picture of Toni, Veronica and a white boy with brown curly hair and blue eyes. His arm was around her waist and Veronica was looking at him and smiling._

 

_Just like she used to look at me._

 

_That was the moment I felt like throwing my phone into the wall and scream out in frustration. I've never been the aggressive type of boy, but that night I thought of more than one way to destroy that boys face, I thought of ways to break his arms so he wouldn't be able to touch her again._

 

_I don't like him, something about him feels off, and I wouldn't think twice about hurting him, if he ever tried anything with ~~Ronnie~~. Veronica._

 

_I felt jealous of him._

 

_Jealous that he could be with her, talk with her and hear hear lovely laugh. I felt jealous that he was the one making jokes to make her laugh. I know it sound so silly, compared to all the other things I could be jealous of, but I love the way she laughs at my jokes. I love the way her nose scrunches when she laughs, how a few second later her lips forms into smile, the way she shakes her heads and looks at me with her big captivating eyes before saying,_

 

_'Oh, Archiekins. You're so silly.'_

 

_I've been jealous before too, like before we started dating and I would see Reggie hanging after her, he was literally everywhere she was, sometimes when I would ask Toni why she didn't bring Veronica to our hang outs, she would just say that she was back in the dorm with Reggie._

 

_I thought maybe Veronica liked him, like the day when she came to the game, she didn't come to watch me, she came for Reggie and I felt so jealous. That she was cheering him on, and how after the game they were holding hands. It's weird in a way that I felt so strongly about her even then. I remember feeling like a small connection when we first shaked hands, like we somehow belonged together. Like she was my soulmate in someway, and this was only by a touch._

 

_In greek mythology they say that the human was first created with four arms,four legs and four heads, but Zeus feared their power and split them into two pieces, he cursed them to spend the rest of their lifes searching for their other half._

 

_I believe Veronica was my missing half._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love greek mythology and needed to make a reference!


	4. Chapter 4

_Dear journal,_

 

_Today I didn't feel like telling you about day nine, let me tell you about the day I knew I didn't want to spend a minute without Veronica. The day I thought to myself,_

 

_'I will marry this girl. I will put a ring on her finger and make her mine forever.'_

 

_Veronica and I had been dating for a while, one day Toni asked me if Veronica and I wanted to go with her and Cheryl to this place where people ice-skate. I thought, fuck no. I've never done that, but Veronica got up from the bed and clapped her small hands together, like a little excited child. She said that she loved ice-skating, she used to ice-skate as a child._

 

_I thought, of course you did._

 

_I didn't have the heart to tell her no, not when she turned to me with her big eyes and said,_

 

_'We're going, right Archiekins?' Her voice was sweet and her eyes full of hope._

 

_We ended up going, and on the way there Cheryl and Veronica bonded over their love for ice-skating, they talked about different movies, and mentioned some famous ice-skaters._

 

_I didn't understand anything of what they were saying, but I love to listen to Veronica when she's excited or passionate about something, the way she moves her hands and how her eyes light up and how she licks her lips. I couldn't help but kiss her in mid-sentence._

 

_We got to the place and I already knew it was going to be a nightmare, Veronica promised me she wouldn't laugh, but the moment we got on the damn ice she bursted into laugh, looking at me struggling._

 

_I fell a bunch of times, and each time she laughed more than she had done before. I could listen to her laugh for the rest of my life. It makes me feel warm inside. She teased me before helping me up, and when she finally decided to help me I pulled her down with me and she fell ontop of me, still laughing._

 

_I laughed with her and kissed her._

 

_She proudly showed off her skills on the ice, and I was amazed by the woman she was. The way she made it look so easy and effortless. She looked magical on that ice, her cheeks were a light color of red and I thought to myself how beautiful she looked. Even when she isn't trying, her face has a certain glow, and the way her raven hair falls down on her shoulders._

 

_I thought, she's something from a different world. A beauty like hers has never touched this earth._

 

_When we finally got out of there, I was sure my whole body was covered in bruises. She told me I looked like deer on ice, she thought I looked cute._

 

_Toni and Cheryl decided to head home after our double date._

 

_Veronica wanted to stay around, she told me there was some christmas fair around here. It took us twenty minutes to find it, and once she found it I saw her eyes glow up, the way she looked at all the christmas decorations, she was so eager to buy everything, I had to stop her a bunch of times._

 

_I thought to myself that she must be some sort of shop addict._

 

_'I love christmas, everything about it, is just so magical.' She told me._

 

_'I bet you love all the presents you get.' I teased her, taking her hand in mine, I always loved the way her hand felt so small in mine._

 

_She shook her head, 'Not really. I loved finally getting to spend time with my mother and father. Christmas was the only day my father decided to come out of his home office and be with us.'_

 

_I imagined little Veronica running around the christmas tree all excited, she probably had a big bow in her hair, and pearls around her neck. She must've been the most adorable little girl._

 

_Later we went into a little shop, we ordered two hot chocolates and got seated._

 

_We spent two hours arguing about halloween and christmas. I argued that halloween was much better than christmas, she told me I was dumb and didn't know what I was saying._

 

_'How dare you say something so... So..' I loved watching the way she bit her tounge searching for the right insult, nothing too harsh but nothing too soft either._

 

_She argued with her whole heart why christmas was better, and she had thousands of arguments, and I loved the way she rolled her eyes when I told her,_

 

_'But it's my opinion, Ronnie.'_

 

_'Your opinion is wrong.' She simply said, taking a sip from her chocolate._

 

_I love the way she doesn't give up, the way she always tries to convience everyone why she's right, she's never been wrong. I could imagine myself arguing about silly things like this with her forever. That was the day when I realized I wanted to put a ring on her finger, and have these silly fights after putting our children to bed._

 

_I think Veronica had me the moment I walked into the room. Even if we hadn't started dating, she would've owned my heart._

 

_I think I will forever be her Archie._

 

_And it scares me. What if I never get over her?_

 

 

_Archie_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hiatus is killing me, I needed to write something fluffy, so here's a little flashback!


	5. Chapter 5

_Dear journal,_

 

_I've heard friends talk about drinking the pain away, that they feel numb and for a moment they forget about everything that's currently wrong. I used to think that was so stupid, drinking and taking drugs is not going to solve what ever you're going through, but then another part of me would feel sorry for them. The only way they could cope with their hurting was by drinking and taking drugs._

 

_I've wished to never become so hurt that I turn to that._

 

_Day nine was the day I felt like Veronica had taken part of my soul and I feared I would never get it back._

 

_Betty walked into my room on day nine, she looked disgusted when she saw the mess my room had turned into. All my clothes were all over the room, soda cans, chips and candy laying around. I was still sleeping when I heard her walking in._

 

_'Arch! This looks disgusting, get up!' She had said._

 

_She helped me clean everything up. She looked pleased with herself when she sat down on my bed._

 

_I wanted her to get out, but I couldn't tell her that. I hate myself for always thinking about others feelings and putting them before mine. I was hurting, why was I thinking of not being rude towards Betty?_

 

_She told me that Ethel Muggs was throwing a party and that we should go, 'it will be fun!'. I doubt it will be fun, I declined a bunch of times but Betty is so stubborn._

 

_Just like Veronica, only difference is that Veronica doesn't have to try and convience me to do anything. I would follow her to the end of world if she asked me to._

 

_Right before we left for the party, Jughead showed up and I could already feel myself getting tired, I wanted to go back to my room and lock me in._

 

_The last thing I needed tonight was being a third-wheel, but here I was._

 

_The party was boring, I met so many of my old classmates, and they all asked me,_

 

_'How are you doing?'_

 

_I wanted to say, bad. I can't breathe anymore, I can't sleep and I find myself thinking about my ex girlfriend non-stop. I feel like I'm being forgotten, and that's one of my biggest fears. I want to scream, I want to punch something, I want to feel alive. I feel dead and cold. She used to make me feel full of life and she used to make me feel warm just by being near her._

 

_Instead I said,_

 

_'I'm doing good.'_

 

_I must be a good liar, they bought it._

 

_One of them asked if I had met someone,_

 

_I felt my stomach turning, and I had to gasp for air. I felt my heart drop when I shook my head and silently answered no._

 

_Damn you Veronica Lodge for doing this to me._

 

 

_I didn't think it could be worse until I saw Reggie, Chuck and Moose walking in together. Moose smiled big when he saw me, and dragged Chuck with him to say hi to me. I thought Reggie would walk away, we haven't been friendly to each other since senior year, but he came over too._

 

_He had a malicious smile on his face, he grabbed a beer and tilted his head to the side,_

 

_'How's Ronnie?'_

 

_I had to calm myself not to grab that beer from him and throw it in his face instead, I hated the way he said her name, that was my nickname for her. _

 

” _She seems to be having fun in The Hamptons. She invited me.”_

 

_The stupid grin on his face wouldn't disappear, and I felt a lump in my stomach when he spoke the last sentence. Why would Veronica invite him? I thought maybe he was lying, he probably was. Reggie Mantle is known for being a pathalogical liar._

_  
”Why didn't you go?'_

 

_The words left my mouth before I could even think, he seemed pleased with my question, like I had just fallen into his trap._

” _I'm going tomorrow, actually.”_

 

_I hate them ~~both~~. I hate him._

 

_I didn't say much, I didn't know what to say._

 

_I left the party right after that, I couldn't be in the same room as Reggie with his stupid grin, the way he looked so pleased with himself was driving me crazy. I had too many feelings inside of me, and I feared that he would press another button and make me lose it all. I wouldn't think twice about destroying his pretty face, but then I thought about how disappointed Veronica would've been._

 

_It's crazy, isn't it? She probably doesn't think about me, but here I am, still thinking about what she thinks of me._

 

_That night I took a bottle of vodka from my dads cabinet. I walked outside and drank it in my loneliness. The taste was disgusting, and I had to stop myself a bunch of times to not throw up when the burning in my throat hit me. I drank until it stopped burning, until I stopped feeling. I drank until my vision got blurry and I had a hard time walking._

 

_I drank until the image of her in my mind disappeard._

 

_I can't remember what happened next. All I know is that I woke up in my bed the next morning, and I don't know how I found home again._

 

_I can't put to words how I felt that night, I felt so small and so lonely. It had only been nine days, and I felt like I was losing my mind, and I probably was. Everything was hurting. Everytime Betty mentioned her name I felt like a knife was stabbing my heart. Everytime I thought about her I felt the lump in my stomach growing bigger and bigger._

 

_It had only been nine days and I knew I wasn't going to be okay anytime soon, I feared it would only get worse from this day on, and I didn't know if I could take it._

 

_I was right, it only got worse._

 

 

_Archie_

 


	6. Chapter 6

_Dear journal,_

_Day ten and eleven were spent the same._

_Trapped in my room in darkness, sleeping until dinner and only coming out of my cave to eat or drink water. I think Betty gave up on me at this time, she didn't come over._

_She texted me asking how I was._

_How was I?_

_Bad. I was craving Veronicas touch, craving her voice, I wanted to be with her so badly. I thought about just calling her, just like I did the other days, but everytime I had her number, ready to call I threw my phone away._

_Day twelve was a hard day. I was going through my camera roll when I came by a picture of her._

_I tried not watching it, but I miss her so much. It hurts._

_The picture is from a couple of days after her birthday. She isn't wearing any make up, she's cuddled up in her bed with a shirt that's a little bit too big on her body, and she's writing in her journal. The sun hits her pretty face so perfectly, making her eyes look brighter than they usually do. The picture is taken right when she notices the camera, and she has a smile on her lips as she's telling me to stop._

_I spent a few minutes just studying her face, her beautiful face. I don't think I've ever missed someone so badly like I did that day._

_I don't know how to explain it for you, and I've said this so many times._

_But I think I've come up with a way to atleast make you slightly understand;_

_It comes in waves._

_The pain._

_It comes in waves, and each time I find myself getting pulled into a deeper wave, the water filling my lungs as I'm about to drown in this pain, and it hurts so much. It hurts so badly, and I try to scream for help, but the water gets inside and I'm choking on my own words._

_Each day feels like an even worse wave, and I'm not sure I can keep drowning._

_But who am I to blame? I should've known better than to let myself fall for her. But how could I resist that beautiful voice of her, and those eyes that somehow felt like home?_

_I was doomed the second I walked into Tonis dorm, and fuck._

_I don't think I would ever not do this again. She's the happiest I've ever been, but she's also the most pain I've ever experienced._

_So, journal, last time I asked you, do you think I'll ever be over her? This time I ask you; Will I ever be okay again?_

  
  


_Archie_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't remember the last time I posted for this fic, but I finally found the inspiration to write for it again!

**Author's Note:**

> This series will have a few flashbacks, so it will contain a lot of soft moments just like Veronicas did!


End file.
